Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
