I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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