I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The air was thick with penises
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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