Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
We got so high we made milksteak
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
