there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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