Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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