I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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