I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize