a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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