Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
