Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
