You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
