I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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