Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
