:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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