***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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