is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
and you fell through a lawn chair
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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