I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
