Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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