i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
