coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
