Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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