I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
