i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
a search helicopter?!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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