Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize