and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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