she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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