Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
