Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
this just has baby written all over it
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
