I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
i believe in u and ur pee
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