P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
