A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
