OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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