Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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