I'm drive I can fine osifer
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize