Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
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