he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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