i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
