watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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