I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You ate ashes out of my bong
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
