I wanna passion pit in your ass
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
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