wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My penis needs a shock collar
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
