my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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