She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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