So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
