my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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