She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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