i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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