I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
