im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
