The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
two words...techno handjob
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
he just fucked me for my cheese.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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