At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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