Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
