then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
