Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize