i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
