I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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