So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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