Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
