Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
