A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize