hotel room ftw
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
